HERE'S A SCHOLARLY REVIEW FROM PROFESSOR REBECCA MALECKAR:

Your song has won a place, along with the likes of Michael Bolton singing Andrew Lloyd Webber and Celine Dion's wildly popular Titanic song, on the Official Soundtrack of Hell. It's rare to find a work so richly fulsome, yet surprisingly prolix (or maybe it just seems that way because it sucks).

BEN ROSOW WRITES:

You did it. You wrote the worst piece of shit in history, next to "Wind Beneath My Wings" which is, you understand, in a class by itself. My wife, The Lovely Nancy, called it, "A fuckin' Masterpiece."

US News and World Report says, "In a musical decade of cum-in-your-mouth onanism, a more finely crafted exercise in slovenly sentimentality and ersatz emotion has yet to be released. Maleckar has delivered the ultimate dual message of Hope Eternal and Self-aggrandizement and deftly brought it crashing down upon our collective feet. Centuries from now, tunesmiths will wonder at the myriad layers of metaphor disembodied in this song"

Guitar Player wrote, "There's no denying it. The heavy tone of Maleckar's penultimate stratospheric guitar lays in one's gut for hours."

Rolling Stone writes, "Maleckar really "goes down" on history..."

Nice Job.

Ben

MOLLY MALECKAR HAS THIS TO SAY:

Ok, I just listened to the final version. I hate you so much. This is the crummiest song ever written. Guitar solo and gratuitous echo really add to the suckiness. And yet...it is a better song than a lot of songs that some people consider enduring classics.

AND JIM PRICE WAS DEEPLY MOVED:

Very nice. Your new work moved me to seek my safe place and weep. Softly. Joyfully.

I think it could be the corner stone for an epic new musical full of yearning and love and drinking and yearning some more. Perhaps a nuevo Carmina. I'll help. I can start work on the rape and roast goose section as soon as you authorize.